I write again, not an April fool!

Obviously it took me a pandemic to start writing again. Today is the start of the second phase of MCO and I’m really trying to take one day at a time, trying to stay positive despite (probably) not having any job (hence income) for a month and possibly longer since fasting month is coming soon that would always be the slowest month of the year, while staying at home; which is definitely a privilege and a blessing that I count for and wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

So here’s a recap on how the year went:

January

1. My friends threw me a surprise birthday party which I honestly did not expect at all. So many signs overlooked that finally made sense. Basically my bestfriend, Nabilah, gathered my friends from highschool, my uni friends, my photography friends and my homies, under one roof to surprise me in an Airbnb, with my fav watermelon lychee cake from Naj & Belle. Honestly I cried when I see all of them as soon as they opened the door for me. So glad they all got along well together.

2. I got to travel to the mountains side of Medan with 3 other ladies for 4 days and it was a trip to remember. The weather was chilly, and I got to read while sitting next to a crystal clear blue water Lake Toba - best way to unwind from my busy schedule since second half of last year. Everyday of the trip, we were fascinated by the natural landscape and the breathtaking view of the mountain and lake, also not to forget amazing local dishes. It was perfect!

February

1. Chaotic month. I started the month in Melaka because I was set for my 1/2 job in Melaka, little that I realized I have another job on 31/1 in KL. So I went to KL in the afternoon, shoot a wedding and went back to my parents’ in Melaka. Shoot another wedding on 1/2 and went back to Shah Alam for an engagement on 2/2 in Puncak Alam. It was very tiring and I could only blame myself for that mischief. Better schedule management please!

2. Also another session that I thought it’d be on the next day. Woken up from a nap by a text from my client saying she just started getting ready. Packed by bag and went straight to the location and started shooting right away for 4 hours. It started drizzling within the first hour but the sun came to play right after. The next day, our shoot location was at the nearby waterfall. Overall I really like that post wedding session; might be biased but maybe because they let me bring 4 of my friends along with me (because my room was so big for myself) but Esha and Faizul were so kind to us, from day 1.

3. Also the month that my friend Alep had a surgery so he got a month long medical leave so we (me, Alep, Zura, Esya, Angah) got to go to so many places; glamping in Sungkai, 4hrs trip to Cameron Highland, Airbnb on top of a mountain in KKB (which we could stargaze at night), to another hidden waterfall not far from the airbnb (I did my first jump and almost drown, never again), and so many other impromtous trips.

4. Did my first “editorial” fashion campaign with on of accessories brands in Zalora in this cute little hideous cafe in Cheras names Flos Cafe, which I then foresee multiple visits (actually happened).

March

1. Is a whole year by itself, I swear it feels so long and I’m not the only one who feels like that.

2. Met a wonderful super senior from STF, Diana, who is such an amazing soul. I swear I want to have a piece of her brain, that alone would guarantee me to have a much more incredible oozing ideas coming out of my brain every second of the day. So I met her by fate, she needed a photographer for her class and I happened to be available on that day. And she seemed to really like me (by any chance) and we talked and talked and the next thing I know, we agreed to meet again for another class and another, and another. And the other next thing I know, I was shooting for an online class under the company she’s currently working part time for called Ruang Cikgu, which is a platform for people to learn something new and potentially become an entrepreneur. You can check out my class here (excuse me and my babbling as I had no mental preparation for this shooting, I thought I came in for a marketing class with Diana) and possibly support me and the company by buying the class, no hard sell here I swear. We now have so many plans for collaboration together but all has to be postponed due to the MCO.

3. My cousin’s wedding reception (which I supposed to be shooting for) is postponed.

4. A few other clients postponed their weddings.

5. I managed to go back to my parents house for the MCO and staying in with my family. Coping mechanism: facetimeing my little niece Zahra’ everyday.

6. Melaka has no almond milk so I have to settle for sweetened soy milk for my coffee (I have developed lactose intolerant along the way).

7. I picked up reading and I seem to very like it (kinda addicted to it but I’m scared I will not be able to allocate any time for it once I start shooting and editing again).

8. Speaking of the devil, this MCO, is currently being so hard on everyone. People are struggling to make ends meet, I heard a few news on SMEs closing down, all weddings have to be postponed, to list a few. All sectors, I mean ALL individuals are affected by this global pandemic. Before all this happened, I had a plan to stay in the States for a month for some wedding shoots but I guess with no cash flow for a couple months, I need to postponed that so some other time, hopefully soon. Also in the beginning, I was shocked with the news that the wedding I shot back on 6/3, there was someone from a tabligh cluster (which is one of the biggest group contributor of this virus in Malaysia) came to the wedding (he was one of the groom’s cousins) and because of that, 10 from that family were infected with the virus including my bride and groom. As soon as I knew about that, I brought myself to the hospital to get myself tested although I have no symptoms whatsoever but one can’t be too careful right? They never got back to me with the result so I guess I’m free from it which is such a relief. My assistant on the other hand, Arena, she was tested positive which brought all of my friends to get tested as well since we had a little housewarming party a week after the wedding and we had homecooked meal, which involved almost everyone. We are still waiting for the result for the rest of them but I have a feeling that we are all in the safe. And Arena is now discharged from the hospital, again, what a relief.

9. I do a lot of cooking and baking in the last 2 weeks and pretty sure I have gained a good 5kg from eating mum’s cooking and bare minimum chores and 12 hours of sleep everyday.

April

1. New year: I attempted on making artisan bread and I forgot to put salt after I’m done with the dough and with no surprise, the dough did not rise, AND on top of that, it’s sticky. Total failure. But I just shove it in the oven and it’s looking pretty decent.

This whole pandemic is definitely the weirdest highlight of my life. Never in my existence would I thought I’d experience seeing the world pause, literally, it’s empty everywhere even in big cities that never sleep like New York and Mecca. It’s such a scary scary time. The statistic is looking worse day by day. And we’re saving lives by staying at home? How twisted does that sound but it is what’s happening right now. The whole world is on lockdown. But on the bright side, we also see improvement in air and water quality in tourist areas like in Venice. It’s like the world needed this break, to heal, to beautify, to serve us better in the future, the hands that destroy it in the first place.

This MCO also has caused people to pick fights, just a few days in and I’m already tired from all the dramas I see especially in Twitter. With everyone struggling to survive day to day, the least we can do is be compassionate to each other and speak only when we have something nice to say. I guess not be able to go out and take fresh air has taken a toll on everyone, we became very angry and sensitive to imperfect human mistakes. But I also saw a lot of initiatives to help our frontliners which now has limited supply to PPE and other protective gears and also funds to people in need of basic life necessities. It’s such a heartwarming feeling to see people come together to do their part of “saving lives” and honestly there is so little appreciation to them, to all of us, even as little as staying home and pray for everyone’s health and safety.

No matter how small our contribution for this difficult time is, I pray that God will fold that multiply and grant us ease and strength to endure this together and shower us with endless opportunities and growth in the near future. I like to thing that there is always a silver lining to everything that’s happened and let’s have faith in that. And while we’re at it, let’s hope I don’t lose momentum in my work and that I will keep on creating. Till then.